June 10

Bitter Sweet June 10

What should've been the happiest day/weekend of my life, was poised to become one of the saddest!

And when I should've been radiantly walking down the aisle dressed in white, I was instead...

frantically walking down the streets searching for my little dog who made her escape when a dozen red roses from the groom were delivered!
 After I finally gave up and went home to meet Brian & Liz who had come to support me thru this difficult non-wedding day, a neighbour called that Tia was in her backyard. Phew! A nuisance, yes, but it did provide a diversion just at the right time! (11:00). 

 Yes, in the 3 weeks preceding this day, all the wedding plans so carefully laid had to be undone. But the significance of the day, my loss, pain could not be ignored. So I was very thankful for these dear friends' love & support and for my family's (and others who wanted to be with me then).  

But how could the unthinkable happen? After all the carefulness, prayer, effort put into this relationship and preparing for marriage?  After all the confirmations and answers to prayers! Never have I been so dependent on the Lord as during the time I have known Jay! 

Growing doubts, an agonized prayer, the discovery of a "little" careless mistake made by a few key people... set off an unbelievable cascade that not only made it necessary to postpone the wedding but then to also break off the relationship completely! (One of the key mistakes was by a clerk at the Family Court where Jay’s divorce papers were supposed to be, and the certificate was found (too late!) in the archives at another court -his divorce being so long ago)!

Yet the Lord allowed, yes, even orchestrated everything!
And He IS good and loves us - tho this feels bad and unloving!
 I'm so thankful for His Sovereignty and His love! Only that can carry us through!  

Well back to this day...,Brian & Liz were a real help & blessing, and after they left, we headed to Maurice & Christine's place where my family had come together.
(Thanks Sarah, Chris, Sharon, Rachel for the photos)

(S)
My Matron of Honour- such a help & support she's been!
And sister Betty, one of my Bridesmaids 

Dear Mom & Dad have been there for me all through everything! I'm so thankful for them and their prayers, Dad for letting me cry in his arms, Mom for being my prayer-warrior, encouraging me to trust, always ready to lend a listening ear and helping hand.

(S)

So thankful for all the prayers and support... of all my dear family!

thankful for my sweet and 

silly N&N's!

Marike would've been my flower girl (with David as Ring-bearer)

So thankful for the loving arms and words on this day.
And thankful that Lizzi & Damon still made the trip here (they're next to be married, DV) 

Also thankful for the grace to rejoice with those who rejoice tho it was my time to weep.

(and it helped that Josh let me in beforehand that he was getting engaged, so it wasn't a shock to me when they showed up later and announced their news!! and I wanted them to still come esp since Josh was in my wedding party - with Maria)   

May the Lord keep Josh & Becca and fulfill their desires. 

Special!

(Esther's picked up the flute really quickly) 

So thankful for the prayer and singing even while tho the tears flowed

 Yes, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”! 

      Thankful that I could still sing “It is Well with my Soul” even tho my heart was broken.... 

Thankful too for the beautiful pink Mandevilla vine from M&C, (and red one from R&L the next day), red hanging basket from Maria, and lovely flower arrangement from D&L - which didn't get a photo of but sure enjoyed!

And gorgeous flowering plant arrangements thoughtfully ordered by Tante Marian and their clan:

Thankful for all that everyone gave, did, and offered to do for the wedding - and that they hadn't actually done a whole lot yet (aside from Mom, Liz, Chris, Lisa - thanks sooo much!)

And especially thankful to my Heavenly Husband and Loving Father for carrying me through.

Sunday, I was given the strength & grace to get up and go to church tho I really just felt like hiding in my room!  And I was glad I did tho the tears were still so easily triggered. The sermon, hymns, Maria's hand thru it all and sympathy of my church family was a balm. So thankful for the Christian community I have and so sorry for Jay that he doesn't have much (please pray for him!)

At home the beautiful Rhododendrons that had just burst out in the most profuse blooms ever (this is where my Bridesmaids and I would've had some of our photos taken)

I praise the Lord that this weekend, poised to be one of the saddest and hardest thus far, was not quite so bad after all!  Tho the hardship and grieving was by no means over...

Thanks again to you all for your prayers for both of us, and parents.